No way to hold on.

Alone. Empty again.

I woke up alone today. Through the nightmares in the night there was no way to hold on. Its why I hate sleep. I pushed anyway, trying all day. Clinging to anything that I could. Music, people, my family but nothing helped.

I returned from work, stumbled to my bedroom and as I curled into a ball drifting between wake and sleep  I realized this is a fight that Im not sure how to win.

There was so much hope. I can't live this way. How do I make this stop?

Am I really alone? Are you reading this? Is anyone out there?